Poor Franken Berry. Our strawberry-flavored, lumpy headed friend is constantly overshadowed by Count Chocula’s mainstream appeal and Boo Berry’s cult appeal. Despite the fact that he’s a big pink creature, Franken Berry’s really more like the black sheep of the Monster Cereal family.

But that’s why I love Frank so much. He’s an outsider’s outsider. He’s a champion of the niche. And most of all, he’s a role model for the weird, the different, and the artificially colored. And that’s why I’m voting Franken Berry all the way in this year’s Monster Cereal Election. Because in a world where artificial colors are being drained from our cereals faster than blood from a vampire bite, Frank is committed to making cereal unnaturally pink again.

Let’s revisit Frank’s flavor platform to make sure his policies match his nostalgic rhetoric.

And let’s do it quickly. I don’t know what it is about Franken Berry, but it seems to go stale and chewy way faster than every other Monster Cereal, and General Mills’ Halloween trio is already notorious for its short shelf life. Sure, every box is cute and delicious at first, but the moment you expose the cereal inside to the elements—or leave a box open after midnight—the ghostly pieces turn into gross, plasticky Gremlins.

But we’re keepin’ our Frank fresher than the Prince of Bel Air for now. And when Franken Berry is good, it’s berry good. Bet you’ve never heard that pun used to describe a strawberry-flavored snack before.

I’ve long tried to describe the finer strawberry notes of Franken Berry’s fruit-glazed corn pieces, often with mixed success. At first, these ghosts taste like an ear of sweet corn buttered up with a coating of strawberry yogurt and whipped Strawberry Taffy. Except instead of salt, these strawberry-slathered corn cobs are sprinkled with granulated sugar in the form of squishier-than-average marshmallows.

That’s how I usually try explaining Franken Berry’s taste to people, and it’s also how I describe it to the judge when said person files a restraining order against me for “excessively creepy use of the term ‘strawberry-slathered corncobs.'”

But while Franken Berry is a little too “meh” and corny when dry, milk multiplies the fun—just like Gremlins again! With milk’s creamy blessing, Franken Berry’s strawberry taste gets strawberrier, its yogurt taste get yogurtier, and my vocabulary of imaginary words is cromulently embiggened.

Most of all, milky Franken Berry has bizarre flavor ribbons of faintly floral, syrupy strawberry. Before today, I could never define this taste sensation, but today I had an epiphany: it tastes like pink cotton candy! Like pink cotton candy, milk-soaked Franken Berry:

A) Melts in your mouth

B) Crackles with artificially berry-infused sugar

C) Has an unfortunately bland aftertaste from the bag/cardboard cone you eat it out of, and

D) Has a big pink monster as the mascot

But while milk ‘n’ cereal is a tried and true combo, my Count Chocula review proved that this is the year for innovative, often overlooked Monster Cereal mixes. That’s why I heartily recommend you try:

PB&Frank, baby!

Franken Berry and peanut butter is a winning tag team. Each strawberry ghost provides a crunchy pop of fruity sugar within a sea of smooth nuttiness. Its like your favorite elementary school lunch sandwich got kidnapped by a mad scientist who turned it into this monstrous blob of deliciousness.

Maybe I’m biased by my love for Franken Berry as a dark horse election candidate (he’s currently getting crushed in the polls), but I enjoyed my annual taste of Frank more than last year. Discovering that Frank’s secret ingredient is obviously “Raw Essence of Pink Cotton Candy” makes it easier to overlook the cereal’s more boring, corny, and chemically notes.

I encourage you all to vote Franken Berry, too. Maybe if he gets elected America’s Favorite Monster, all of our cereal’s will be colorful and bright enough to strike fear into the fire-frightened heart of Frankenstein himself.

The Bowl: General Mills Franken Berry Cereal

The Breakdown: When dry, Franken Berry tastes like a cornier version of the old, artificially flavored Trix. But with the help of milk, peanut butter, and a little bit of cotton candy, Frank becomes a creative cereal worthy of the White House. or should I say Pink House?

The Bottom Line: 8 breakfast Mogwai of 10

(Quick Nutrition Facts: 130 calories, 1 gram of fiber, 9 grams of sugar, and 2 grams of protein per 1 cup serving)