Monthly Archives: January 2021

Spooned & Spotted: Waffle Crisp Returns to the U.S.

Jeez, what a drama queen.

…is what I said to myself upon hearing the news that Waffle Crisp, discontinued in 2018, was returning to American shelves. Less than a week ago, I penned an overdramatic elegy for Waffle Crisp, believing I may have just taste tested one of the last produced boxes of the stuff in Mexico—where it seemingly never really got discontinued in the first place.

Honestly, it was a cathartic exercise of closure, and Post had to go ruin the moment’s beauty by pulling a deus ex machina, bagging up a bunch of Waffle Crisp, and shipping it out. I’m kidding, of course: I’m genuinely very excited that Waffle Crisp will have wide availability again. These bags have already been spotted at Walmart, and you can check their site for availability near you.

However, I will warn you that this newly returned Waffle Crisp appears to be the same as the Mexican edition—in fact, those didn’t even have Spanish boxes. Just stickers over the English text. What that means is, it’s probably gonna taste a bit different from what you remember. In my experience, this strain of Waffle Crisp emphasizes the buttery and toasted elements of a waffle more so than the maple bits. This is still good, mind you, but if your nostalgia trip feels a little off, that’s probably why.

My thanks to Cereal Life and Michael for the photographic evidence.

News: Cereal-Flavored Carnation Breakfast Essentials

New Carnation Breakfast Essentials Cereal Flavors

To paraphrase Smash Mouth, “well, the year’s new cereals keep comin’, and they don’t stop comin’.” And with a flood that great, it’s no surprise we’re getting some more liquefied cereal delicacies to pair with, you know, the traditional solid kind.

In addition to Coffee Mate Cinnamon Toast Crunch creamer, Nestle is enlisting three more cereal cornerstoners to join their line of Carnation Breakfast Essentials nutritional drinks. That said, it’s honestly pretty baffling to see General Mills and Kellogg’s cereals joining forces here—I love you, Golden Grahams, but you’re hopelessly outnumbered if the Kellogg’s pair turns on you.

Yes, between Froot Loops, Golden Grahams, and Krave Carnation Breakfast Essentials, that’s some pretty impressive coverage of cereal’s three core flavor categories: fruity, honey, and chocolate. You know what? I bet these’ll all taste pretty swell, too. As your resident spindly cereal blogger, I don’t drink a lot of Carnation or other fortified beverages, but the ones I have strike a nice balance of taste and nutrition. Nothing too crazy—I bet these’ll just be like slightly thicker cereal milk. About two steps down in thickness from Kefir.

Let me know if you’ve tried any of these in the comments. I have a feeling I won’t review all of them, but I might give the Krave a try unless someone* recommends against it.

*Someone who isn’t genetically biased against Krave. Y’all know who you are.

The Empty Bowl Episode Forty-Four: 2020’s Best & Worst Cereals

Though I’m a few days late, I can’t leave 2020 in the past without doing an annual breakdown of its best and brightest cereals. And since this crappy year had its fair share of crappy cereals, too, for the first time I’ve assembled a Bottom 3 as well as a Top 5.

I also wanted to present these lists a little differently this time around. Tweaking my annual tradition as well as our typical episode outline, my 2020 Breakfast Review is explained at length in Episode Forty-Four of The Empty Bowl, a meditative podcast about cereal hosted by Justin McElroy and me. This was partly to save myself the wrist strain that comes with octupling my article length, but if you really really would rather read my lists than hear them, I’ll give a short and sweet summary below.

Anyway, I had a lot of fun making this episode, and I hope it helps start your 2021 with a heaping spoonful of chill, too. Cheers! Continue reading