Finally: a nostalgic reboot that’s got me hopeful again.
From French Milquetoast Crunch to Oreo Oh…s, the cereal industry’s recent revivals of straight-off-the-BuzzFeed-list cult classic morning munchies have all been good, but they lose their luster when compared to the originals. So like every Ghost of a Buster or CGI’d Rugrat, I’ve started viewing cereal remakes with trepidation, guarding my fond memories like a stash of pre-Y2K canned goods.
(I’ll let you all into my bunker if you remember to bring the milk.)
What started as a jovial musical fruit has now convinced all of society that it’s cool, and its positive public opinion rises with every pet name given, Starbucks opened, and Rowan Atkinson’d.
The collective legume’s luster has even bloomed into cereal, like Kashi By Kids’ new, trilogy-completing flavor: Coco Crisp. It’s not the first of its kind to be made out of bean ingredients, in Kashi’s case chickpea flour (which is leeching popularity off chicks and peas), but Cocoa Crisp promises a bold pairing of chocolate pucks and chocolate-stuffed chocolate-flavored pillows.
This sounds like one worth having a spoonful of peanut butter on hand for, but since I forgot to buy more peanut butter, I’ll just dive in with two spoons instead. Continue reading →
Someone call Wilmer Valderrama, because this is a Yo Momma-worthy rivalry in the breakfast world.
See, I don’t think Kellogg’s timely decision to turn their 3 flagship spookily spoonable flavors—Froot Loops, Apple Jacks, and Chocolate Frosted Flakes, all with (formerly skeletal) marshmallows—into awesomely characterized, diversely ‘mallowed jack-o’-lantern glow-upped versions of themselves was a mere aimless gesture.
Between the conveniently bat, Frankenstein, and ghost-shaped marshmallows and the doubtfully accidental pairing of werewolf and mummy costumes, this feels like a direct wink at General Mills’ Monster Cereals. Big K’s consonant hat tip couldn’t have been timed better, either: with rapidly staling box art returning this year instead of new looks for Count, Frank, and Boo (seemingly the only reanimated Monsters this year), I’m much more excited about this trio of immersively designed delights.
I mean, how couldn’t I? Tony looks like he could tell me that man is nothing but a miserable pile of secrets any minute!
Thanks to Hillary H. for sharing the news of these—you can view them on Walmart’s website.
Fresh off of their Honey Smacks salmonella crisis, Kellogg’s is trying a more cultured approach to bringing bacteria into their cereals: frozen yogurt, colloquially known as froyo, and more sinisterly known as frogurt.
And it’s all happening at Menchie’s, one of a whole phylum’s worth of build-your-own, pay-by-weight froyo free-for-all joints that, while they may be waning in popularity, certainly aren’t wavering on creativity.
In the second cereal x frozen yogurt crossover we’ve seen this summer, Tony the Tiger—who conspicuously appears here in his old, not-uncannily-CGI’d design—is helping Menchie’s infuse his Cinnamon Frosted Flakes right into the very core of their pumped-up product.
Made with real cinnamon and presumably accompanied by an easily-underestimated tub of actual cereal pieces for sprinklin’, this promising flavor (officially and redundantly titled “Cinnamon Frosted Cereal made with Kellogg’s® Cinnamon Frosted Flakes) will likely still have to do a lot of work to pull people away from the chain’s multitude of other elaborate concepts.
COOKIES ‘N CREAM CHEESECAKE MADE WITH OREO® COOKIE PIECES froyo, anyone? (Their all caps, not mine)
Look for this taste in your local Menchie’s starting yesterday. And if you decide to mix gummy worms into it, please invite me to your funeral.
I only ask because, after General Mills’ soft announcement of Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry Monster Cereals has left some monsterholics (not to be confused with the far less tame Monsterholics) a bit disappointed.
Typically built up with some sort of anticipation, early word on this breakfast time trio isn’t promising. It largely serves as a formal announcement of the Monster Crunch board game and puzzle, and it responds to fans’ collective clamoring for 20th century favorites Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy’s return by saying their board game presence is an introduction of sorts. Their non-appearance has since been externally confirmed.
Whether this means they’ll debut at a later time or only in merchandise is unclear, but given that General Mills’ blog post states the Monster Cereals will be hitting shelves soon, that must mean their creative production is complete. So it stands to reason that the presence of last year’s boxes in the photo probably means we won’t be getting a new gimmick or art style this time around the corn husk-laden crypt.
Hey, at least we’ll be able to channel our emotions into spirited cardboard competition.
Now that’s just my prediction. I’ll eat my words with marshmallows if I’m wrong, but until we learn more, I’m just gonna sit here with the Monsters Go Disco on repeat and hope they at least reintroduce two other classic, fan favorite monsters: Dr. Oat & Mr. Flour.
