Monthly Archives: January 2018

Review: Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes Cereal

General Mills New Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes Review Box

I love crossovers.

Jetsons meet the Flintstones? Great. Scooby-Doo meets the Harlem Globetrotters? Awesome. Peanut butter meets jelly? Bodacious! Two different groups of my friends meet in the same bar and I respond by anxiously escaping to the bathroom? Fantas—wait, wait, no.

Okay, maybe Egon was right and some streams aren’t meant to cross. But that didn’t stop General Mills from capitalizing on Kellogg’s inability to trademark the too-vague term “Frosted Flakes,” pouncing on those two words like an enraged Tony the Tiger on a gazelle and making these Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes.

Seriously, I’m not one for conspiracy theories, but this has to be a deliberate move to incite a little friendly cereal competition. I fully expect Kellogg’s to fire back with “Cinnabon Toast Munch” within the month.

But regardless of why General Mills did this, Lucky Charms Frosted Flakes are here. The lion of sugar-coated corn flakes has laid down with the technicolor sugar nugget lamb, and now our dental health’s reckoning must begin. Continue reading

Review: Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal

General Mills New Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds Cereal Review Box

If you, like me, set a New Year’s Resolution to get fit, but have been set back by leftover pie, half-empty frosting cans, new cereals, and every other sweet treat whose scent lifts me off the ground like a euphoric Looney Tunes character, then I have a solution for you.

Just buy this cereal and tell people you’ve been getting Shredded at the gym every day.

But don’t tell them that you really mean you’ve been eating Peanut Butter Chocolate Blasted Shreds straight from the box in the little nook by the broken cardio machines, snarling at any post-jazzercise grandma unfortunate enough to cross your crumb-strewn path.

Not-so-secret gluttony aside, I’m stoked to review the first of General Mills’ two new Blasted Shreds cereals (the other being Cinnamon Toast Crunch). I’ve heard many good things about Peanut Butter Chocolate, with some ranking it as a last-minute dark horse in their Best Cereals of 2017 list, and others just in awe that the whole bicep-curl-friendly box weighs over a pound.

So whether you’re bench pressing the box or just doing some spoon-to-mouth deadlifts, let’s all get absolutely Shredded together. Continue reading

Review: Kashi Cinnamon French Toast

Kashi Cinnamon French Toast Cereal Review Box

Let’s raise a toast to 2018: a bowl of Kashi’s new Cinnamon French Toast Cereal, to be more specific.

Yes, I figured this warm ‘n’ cozy-sounding, breakfast-within-a-breakfast cereal would be a fitting first review for the year of MMXVII for two reasons: one, it’s pretty darn healthy and New Year’s friendly, at 90 calories per 3/4 cup serving with 5 grams of fiber for “spring cleaning,” and just 6 grams of sugar.

Yep, you read that right: Cinnamon French Toast barely out-sweetens Wheat Chex, a cereal I’m pretty sure can double as soy bean fertilizer.

Oh, and the second reason? Because Kashi’s bulging little toasts here adopt a “new year, new me” philosophy to deliciously remix a bunch of other cereal flavors you’ve probably already tried and shamefully binged a whole box of during while binge-watching The Office for so long that Netflix skipped asking if you were there and just asked, “Are you still okay?” Continue reading