Monthly Archives: June 2017

Spooned & Spotted: Post Mixed Berry, Cinnamon Roll, & S’Mores Bites Shredded Wheat

Frosted Mini-Wheats, prepare to Frosted Mini-Meet your maker.

Post Shredded Wheat has been around for a while, but until now, Shredded Wheat hasn’t exactly been the more exciting brand of thatched wheat biscuits. Somehow, kids prefer Frosted Mini-Wheats’ caked-on frosting and oceans of saccharine detritus in their cereal boxes over sugar-free bran and glisteningly sticky roasted nut flavor.

But now all that is about to change. In the wake of what is perhaps Frosted Mini-Wheats’ greatest cereal sin, changing their classy biscuit mascot to some sort of SpongeBobian abomination, Post has debuted three new bite-sized Shredded Wheat varieties. Mixed Berry, Cinnamon Roll, and S’Mores Bites are already excitingly unique flavors on their own, but each new biscuity breed is also filled with flavored chips to (hopefully) make their dry wheat exteriors explode with bursts of berry, vanilla, and chocolate flavor, respectively.

Not since Hidden Treasures Cereal have I been so geeked to get backhanded in the taste buds.

Shoutout to reader Austin K. for sending me this photo from Walmart. I look forward to collecting all three boxes like they’re semisweet-stuffed Pokémon cards, mixing all three into a single bowl, and playing a dangerous game of berry bushel/bakery/bonfire roulette.

If you’ve got a cereal photo of your own to share, snap, crackle, and pop right on over to our submissions page!

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cinnamon, post, s'mores, shredded wheat. 4 Comments

Jun. ’17

Review: Blueberry Chex Cereal

Ready your best Oprah impression and say it with me: “You get a blueberry flavor! And you get a blueberry flavor! Everybody gets a blueberry flavor!

With the introduction of Very Berry Cheerios earlier this year, the recent rebranding of Blueberry Tiny Toast into Blueberry Toast Crunch, Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch, the unexpected appearance of Kellogg’s Blueberry Lemon Special K, the inevitable return of Boo Berry in October, and now the dawn of gluten-free Blueberry Chex, it seems like 2017 is poised to be the year of the blue-but-mostly-indigo-but-pretty-much-purple-inside-berry.

That or General Mills just had a surplus harvest of pulverized blueberry flavor dust. In that case, I expect to see Chocolate Fondue Berry Cocoa Puffs and Reese’s Peanut Butter & Blueberry Jelly Puffs any day now.

But until such a gastronomical triumph is achieved, let’s content ourselves with these Smurf-kissed corn squares. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, blueberry, chex, fruit, general mills. 14 Comments

Jun. ’17

Review: Peanut Butter Cup Cereal Milk Powdered Drink Mixxer

I wholeheartedly support the powderization of all cereals and milks. One day, humanity will inevitably go too far and causes its own extinction by putting too much x-treme nacho cheese flavor into a single corn chip or attempting an Oreo flavor that tastes like God’s leftovers. When our food science hubris causes our downfall, I still want post-human lifeforms to enjoy Earthen snack culture by reconstituting old powdered foodstuffs with long shelf lives.

Hence why this line of new powdered Cereal Milk drink “Mixxers” is a step in the right direction. When the self-aware Doritos turn on us, I’ll still be able to savor a tall glass of Reese’s Puff-flavored milk while watching the atomic orange sun set on mankind.

And Peanut Butter Cup isn’t the only flavor, either. These innovative products, which seek to re-create the flavor of cereal endmilk without that daunting “eating cereal” part, also come in Frosted Flake and Cinnamon Crunch. And while I’d love to raise a GRRR-EAT Cinnamon Toast to all three varieties, these things cost as much as a family-sized cereal box. So I embraced my soul-deep Reese’s Cup love and took the choco-nutty plunge.

Now let’s mix this stuff into everything I have in my pantry. Look out, Chef Boyardee. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, non cereal, peanut butter, reese's puffs. 2 Comments

Jun. ’17

A Tiny Toast Eulogy in 10 Tweets

It turns out reports of Tiny Toast’s death have not been greatly exaggerated. The brand of crunchy, strawberry and blueberry-flavored mini-loaves has been officially absorbed into the Toast Crunch family of cereals, as General Mills and many suddenly cereal-happy media outlets (after the Oreo O’s news, no one’s sleeping on everyone’s favorite wake-up foodstuff anymore) are now reporting.

I took to Twitter this morning to succinctly share my thoughts on this change, and I thought I’d reproduce my retrospection here, since copying and pasting tweets is the only way to keep me from writing 1,000+ more unnecessarily sappy words about pygmy bread pieces. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: blueberry, general mills, strawberry, toast crunch. 3 Comments

Jun. ’17

News: Honey Maid S’mores Cereal Keeps the Flame Alive

New Honey Maid S'mores Cereal with Madagascar and More

New Honey Maid S’mores Cereal (Left) with its Ancestors

Apparently cereal isn’t like baseball: there’s no “three s’mores and you’re out” policy.

Post, the Honey Bunch-slinging, Oreo O’s-reviving parent company of Malt-O-Meal, has announced that even after launching Madagascar S’mores Jungle Party, Canadian S’Mores Cereal, and Malt-O-Meal S’mores, they’ll be raising a toast(ed marshmallow) to one more graham–’mallow–chocolate cereal with new Honey Maid S’Mores Cereal.

Debuting this month (if not now in your local Walmart: check Post’s store locator) alongside a probably-far-more-popular-with-no-offense-to-s’mores-because-come-on-it’s-cookies-for-breakfast cereal, newly introduced Oreo O’s, Honey Maid S’mores combines ridged honey graham squares, chocolate puffs, and mini marshmallows to re-create everyone’s favorite campfire treat.

Well, almost everyone: I prefer roasting Cheez-Its for that extra extra toasty effect.

Though it’s unlikely that Honey Maid S’mores will taste any different than its breakfast aisle kinfolk, I’m sure I’ll still buy it anyway. If only so I can give my Teddy Grahams officially licensed honey graham surfboards to ride on.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: News. Tags: malt-o-meal, post, s'mores. 2 Comments