Monthly Archives: March 2017

News: Ben & Jerry’s Cereal Splashback Ice Cream is Making Cereal Milk a Dessert Star

Ben & Jerry's Cereal Ice Cream

(Image via Ben & Jerry’s)

The leftover milk at the bottom of the bowl is the unsung hero of breakfast cereal. Infused with the eroded sugary essence of a million flakes, loops, pebbles, or maple Parisian bread slices, this swirlingly sweet milk is so good that I even unknowingly coined* a term for it: “endmilk.”

*By “coined,” I mean that I always thought endmilk was the stuff’s proper taxonomic name, until spellcheck’s angry red squiggle told me otherwise

But now instead of being an oft-forgotten appendix to breakfast that some people even (*gasp*) pour down the drain, cereal milk is becoming dessert’s decadent guest of honor, as Ben & Jerry’s has debuted three new Cereal Splashback flavors inspired by iconic cereals and their endmilk: Continue reading

Happy National Cereal Day 2017: Dan’s Top 5 Obscure Cereal Mascots

National Cereal Day Shirt

Finally: now that all those Hallo-Thanks-‘mas-New-Valen-hog things are over, we can celebrate the real most wonderful time of the year.

That’s right, it’s March 7th: National Cereal Day! Today’s our day, breakfast lovers. A day when we can run a shoe buffer over our favorite shiny spoon, eat Cocoa Puffs for every meal plus dessert (which we were going to do anyway), and make fun of health-conscious cereal haters—because you don’t see kale smoothies getting their own national holiday, do you?

As usual, the Lucky Charming, Cinnamon Toasting folks at General Mills gifted me an awesome, retro-themed National Cereal Day care package. With a sturdy cereal bowl and t-shirt celebrating this holiday’s “OGs,” a suite of cereal boxes, an actual Rubik’s Cube, and more holographic plastic squiggles than their are permutations of a Rubik’s Cube, this care package is as wholesome as it is bowl-some.

Last year I celebrated National Cereal Day by counting down my favorite cereals of all time. As March 7th approached and my calendar’s ink started running under the worried grip of my sweaty mitts, I wasn’t sure how to follow this for Cerealously’s second year on the world wide web. But after looking at General Mills’s included “fun fact” sheet, it dawned on me: Continue reading

News: Spider-Man Homecoming Cereal Boxes Swing Onto Canadian Shelves

Post Canadian Spider-Man Homecoming Cereal

Spider-Man. Spider-Man.
His cereal’s next to the Raisin Bran.

Beware, Canadian evil-doers: you can’t run from justice, even at breakfast, because Spider-Man is taking over Post cereal boxes to celebrate the launch of his upcoming Spider-Man Homecoming movie.

(Well, I guess criminals could just eat Honey Bunches of Oats exclusively, as the villainous Vulture has made that box his nest).

The boxes are hitting Canadian stores at the beginning of May, but thanks to the heroic help of Junk Food Dog, we’ve got an early scoop—getting exclusive photos of Spider-Man makes me feel like J. Jonah Jameson, so I’d better start growing my mustache now.

This isn’t the first time the U.S. has missed out on an exclusive Spider-Man cereal. Just last year, Australia was blessed with the above Ultimate Spider-Man cereal—although I don’t remember there being an issue where Spider-Man shoots sweetened chocolate rings out of his wrists.

Oh well, I won’t complain about other countries getting all the coolest superhero snacks. After all, America did get Kraft Spider-Man Macaroni & Cheese: arguably the greatest thing to happen to mac & cheese since the birth of breadcrumbs.

Review: Special K Caramel Nut Protein Bites

Kellogg's Special K Caramel Nut Protein Bites Pouch

Why am I reviewing a product that’s decidedly not cereal, a Pop-Tart, or oatmeal?

I’ll answer that question with a question: why am I getting defensive about hypothetical questions that no one’s actually asking? The real reason I’m giving Special K’s new(ish) Caramel Nut Protein Bites a spotlighted review is because, after January’s firestorm of new cereals—which featured adaptations of every doughy delicacy from cookies to pancakes and back to cookies again—I’m struggling to fresh and relevant new products to write 700 excessive words about. If you see me reviewing Rice Chex next week, you’ll know I’m really spooning the bottom of the barrel.

Besides, when I scanned my Protein Bites, the check-out machine called them “KLLGG CERL.” So take that, imaginary critics! Continue reading

News: Kellogg’s New York Pop-Tarts Café is a Doughy Dream Come True

♪ New York, New York: a helluva town. The Bronx is up, and the new café serving blended toaster pastry milkshakes is down! ♪

Sorry if there are any unexpected typos or short circuits in this post. My mouth is watering like Niagara, and my keyboard’s in the splash zone. But how could I not be spilling anticipatory drool by the barrelful when Pop-Tarts keeps tempting us with photos and videos of their Pop-Tarts Café?

Open until March 12th in New York City, this pop-up (pun intended, I’m sure) shop is the spiritual successor to Kellogg’s earlier cereal café. But the Pop-Tarts Café amps up the customization and Wild Berry wackiness far beyond the cereal joint’s wildest dreams. I’d you can’t watch the video above, know that their menu contains: Continue reading