That explains why Bear Naked, a granola brand, has released an inaugural breakfast cereal stuffed with flakes, oat clusters, Winnie the Pooh’s favorite sticky golden elixir of life.
But wait: this new Bear Naked Cereal line also includes Toasted Coconut Clusters and Chocolate Almond Clusters. I’m no zoologist—let alone a grizzlogist—but I don’t think animals in the Ursidae family are known for raiding palm trees or Swiss chocolatiers.
Bamboo Clusters I could understand. Alaskan Salmon Clusters? Sure. But Bear Naked’s gonna have to make a compelling case for these cereals’ accuracy to their source material.
But let’s start with the logical one, shall we? As the buzziest of the three, Sweet Honey Clusters will be the gatekeeper that determines whether I’ll buy the other two—because at roughly $3.99 a box, these bunches cost bunches. Continue reading →
I’m not a sports person. Hard to believe coming from a guy who photographs Pop-Tarts and constantly references Pokémon, right?
So while you’ll never find me near a basketball court unless there’s Dippin’ Dots or a Fresh Prince of Bel-Air theme song involved, long-time Cereal Timer Gabe Fonseca is a much more enthusiastic “net nut” (is that a real term for basketball fans?). Thats why he sent in this photo of new Limited Edition Slam Duncan O’s, a cereal exclusive to Texas grocer H-E-B that pays tribute to San Antonio Spurs legend Tim Duncan.
I hear he played basketball real well. Probably scored a lot of touchdownshome runsservice aces points.
This isn’t the first time H-E-B has honored Duncan at breakfast time, either. Back in 2001, he got Slam Duncans: a pretty generic toasted oat ring cereal. 2017’s Slam Duncan O’s are a little more interesting, as they pair honey oat rings with chocolate puffs. At this rate, the Tim Duncan cereal family will get marshmallows and freeze-dried ice cream bits by 2049.
Sorry: I’ve got Dippin’ Dots on my mind.
For a local chain, H-E-B has done some cool cereal promotions. They even had a Wild Red Cereal based on their signature store-brand soda. In a world overrun by beverage-flavored Pop-Tarts, I think we could use more soda cereals.
Cap’n Crunch, take note: you may not have a Slam Dunk Crunch cereal, but you can make up for it with Root Beer Float Crunch.
Our thanks to Gabe for sending all the above photos. If you’ve got a ballin’ cereal photo of your own to share, pass it along on our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.
With my right hand raised, I, Dan G. of Cerealously, vow to complete this review of Kellogg’s new Despicable Me Cereal without voicing any of my personal opinions about Minions, the Minion phenomenon, or the fact that Minions somehow still overpopulate my Facebook feed with sassy memes in the year 2017.
There, now that the hard part’s over, I can evaluate this cereal objectively. At first glance—once you get past those moon-sized, staring eyes—Despicable Me Cereal appears to be the latest square-shaped, marshmallow-stuffed entry in Kellogg’s cinematic cereal franchise, an anthology that includes Finding Dory Cereal, Captain America Civil War Cereal, and several others with identical flavors but laughably different source materials.
But look, look closer with your special, telescopic Minion eyes, and you’ll see that Despicable Me Cereal is actually Brown Sugar Vanilla-flavored! I feel like we need to celebrate this trend-bucking mix-up of Kellogg’s repetitive movie cereal formula.
Anyone down for a Return of the Jedi-style party with Ewoks, bonfires, and the grinning blue ghosts of several force-sensitive mentors? Continue reading →
It’s National Peanut Butter Day (January 24th), and European cereal lovers are getting a delightful new salted nut butter cereal. Meanwhile, we here in the States are left to go nuts with salty envy.
What’s worse is that it’s a new Crunchy Nut cereal! Crunchy Nut Peanut Butter Clusters is the latest iteration of Kellogg’s peanut shard-speckled, honey-glazed breakfast brand. You know, the one that delighted Americans for decades—it was first known as “Honey & Nut Corn Flakes” in the ’80s—until its untimely demise discontinuation just a couple years ago.
Aside from Crunchy Nut and the nearly mythical Triple Snack, few cereals have contained real peanut hunks, so I look back on Crunchy Nut with the fond remembrance of a native New Yorker who watched a laundromat replace his favorite pizza parlor—the only pizza parlor that topped every slice with freshly diced peanuts.
Unlike their flaky predecessors, Crunchy Nut Peanut Butter Clusters are made of oats and wheat crisps, all gummed up together with real peanut butter to form chunky clusters. Our friend Amy at Amy Seeks New Treats, who generously supplied the above box photo, has a great review. Check it out for the less-salty take of someone who actually gets to try this magnificent-looking cereal.
No, I’m not crying, I’m just, *sniff* so happy for every cereal lover across the pond. I guess I’ll just spoon some Skippy into my Peanut Butter Crunch to try and fill the void.
Big thanks go to Amy for sharing her picture. According to Crunchy Nut, this cereal can be found at Tesco stores, and will be at Asda, Sainsbury’s, and Waitrose soon. But no matter what country you’re in, if you have a cool cereal scoop, we want to see it. Click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com. There’s a good chance your picture could be featured on the site.
Leave it to Raisin Bran Crunch to bring two of America’s most contentious summer pie flavors together.
Seriously: apple pie and strawberry pie’s rivalry is the warm weather equivalent of pumpkin vs. pecan, and I bet this bitter—yet so sweet—feud is the reason we don’t see apple and strawberry flavors mix very often. I don’t know what apple did to strawberry to evoke decades of estrangement, but I can only assume it involved a pie to the face. And maybe a few clowns.
But now, thanks to the unifying power of Raisin Bran’s radiant sun, we can finally experience apple and strawberry in tandem without having to sandwich together two slices of Grandma’s Independence Day desserts. Because while it may be delicious, that’s how you end up with a Fourth New Belt Notch of July. Continue reading →
Oh, uh, I’m not crying—I just have Cinnamon Toast Crunch endmilk in my eyes, I swear!
You may have noticed that we haven’t heard from cereal futurist Gabe Fonseca in a while. For most of the 1.5 years Cerealously has existed, we’ve been doing periodic watch alongs of Gabe’s “Cereal Time” YouTube series, which involves weekly throwbacks and spotlights on cereals past and present. The episodes are stuffed with nostalgia, and each contains enough fun to make a Barrel of Monkeys shamefully throw in the towel.
If you’re a long-time Cereal Time fan, you probably know by now that the above episode is the series’ last. You also probably saw that I “guest star” in the video’s description, so if you’re a cereal lover who migrated over from Gabe’s YouTube channel I welcome you here with open arms and pantries. Hopefully I can provide the hard-hitting cereal journalism you seek.
But if you’ve never watched Cereal Time, the good news is that you have a large library of re-runs to check out in “syndication.” Gabe’s final episode includes stunning special effects, nail-biting drama, and a look at milk-flavoring Crazy Cow cereal from the ’70s—pretty much all you could ever ask for—but I thought I’d count down my top 5 favorite episodes from over the years.
So without further a do, let’s celebrate the greatest hits 0f Cereal Time’s action-packed life, instead of mourning: Continue reading →
Confession: I used to cut out and collect the Girl Scout cookie mascots that came on the cardboard cookie boxes. You know, theserad dudettes? I just loved imagining my treats with personalities, backstories, and intricate lore, and I won’t deny that a corrugated Do-Si-Do cutout once did battle with my Darth Vader action figure.
The Girl Scout cookie Caramel Crunch Cereal is based on goes by many names, but its purple-boxed, New Year’s Resolution-busting flavor trio of coconut, caramel, and chocolate is instantly recognizable. Samoas, a.k.a. Carmel deLites, a.k.a. “The Ones I’m Glad Have Holes Because I Eat Them So Fast They Could Be a Choking Hazard” are the Girl Scouts’s 2nd most popular cookie after Thin Mints, beating out my dearest Tagalongs by about 6% of annual sales.
Oh, poor Tagalong: never the bride, never the bridesmaid, always the head usher.
I already reviewed Thin Mints Cereal, General Mills’s other new Girl Scout cookie cereal, and it got a crisp B+ for its impressive depiction of Thin Mint cookies’ crispy inner wafer. Will Caramel Crunch live up to these lofty standards, or will it be a case of Where in the World is Caramel San Diego?
Let’s deliver a box straight to my taste buds and find out. Continue reading →
Whoops, that was weird. I meant to write, “Ahoy, matey!” Sorry about that. Anyway, come on and IHOP aboard my cereal review ship, and we’ll…darn, I did it again! I really must have pancakes on my mind today.
IHOPe it doesn’t happen again.
But really, how can anyone not have pancakes stuck to their brains like syrupy griddlecakes to a plate when Cap’n Crunch’s Blueberry Pancake Crunch cereal is finally here? Sold in boxes taller than Paul Bunyan’s flapjack stacks, Blueberry Pancake Crunch combines fruity aquamarine and maple-flavored creme puffs (no, not that kind of cream puffs, sorry) to re-create a fascinatingly obscure breakfast in cereal form.
Personally, I would have preferred Buckwheat Pancake Crunch, but my pancake house menu choices are decidedly more octogenarian than most.
So while all you kids turn on Matlock for me and get off my darn lawn, I’ll pour a fresh bowl of spherical Johnnycakes. Continue reading →
