Monthly Archives: December 2016

Cerealously’s Top 5 New Cereals of 2016!

Hold it right there, 2016: you may be a largely hated year, but I’m not letting you leave just yet.

No year is complete without a year in review list. And while many people prefer to detail the most buzz-worthy news stories, the “earwormiest” chart-toppers, or the funniest videos featuring frisky and/or fiendish felines, I’m just going to tell you what I believe were the 5 best new cereals this year. So if you have time between your New Year’s cheers to read about pink Cheerios, this list is for you.

While taste is definitely a defining factor in my rankings, keep in mind that innovation, packaging, and nostalgic whimsy will all be taken into account, too. 2015’s winner, JIF PB&J Cereal, swept the vote based on elementary school lunchtime memories alone—even though it did taste pretty darn good, too.

So without further ado, let’s count down as the ball—or should I say bowl—drops. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cap'n crunch, cerealously, cheerios, holiday, nature valley. 2 Comments

Dec. ’16

Review: Very Berry Cheerios Cereal Flavored with Real Fruit

I hope you all had a legendary and merry December, because it’s time to carry that spirit into an extraordinary January full of Very Berry Cheerios!

If you can’t tell, I’m getting a head start on my New Year’s Resolution: “make more annoying rhymes.”

While Very Berry is far from the first fruity Cheerios variety to hit shelves, this cereal takes the shortcake when it comes to sheer quantity of berries. Flavored with strawberries, blueberries, raspberries, and cranberries, the only thing missing from Very Berry Cheerios is a bushel of Wonka’s snozzberries.

But I think the wallpaper industry still has exclusive rights to America’s annual snozzberry harvests, so I’ll forgive General Mills for stopping at four berries. This has been a fruitful year for them, after all: from Berry Bunnies and newly reformulated Trix to two varieties of Tiny Toast, ol’ GM has had its fair share of juicy 2016 scoops.

Will Very Berry Cheerios be a worthy closer for this year of naturally flavored, artificial color-free berry cereals? There’s only one way to find out, and spoiler alert: it involves stuffing my annoying rhyme-hole with purple oat rings. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 6 rating, blueberry, cheerios, general mills, strawberry. 17 Comments

Dec. ’16

Cerealously Visits the Kellogg’s Archives!

Ever heard the phrase “like a kid in a candy store?” Well you should see a cereal and Pop-Tart blogger in Kellogg’s headquarters.

Earlier this month, I was generously invited to tour Kellogg’s command center in Battle Creek, Michigan. And from the minute I stepped into their twinkling castle of brick and glass, I had to resist every urge to swoon head over heels like a ’50s sitcom romantic.

With a colorful Kellogg’s timeline on the wall, a dedicated Eggo Waffle showcase, a 24-hour cereal bar in full view, and an overhead Snap, Crackle, and Pop banner so large it’d put Citizen Kane to shame, this place was pretty much a cereal Xanadu.

But that was just the beginning: as the kind brand marketer and PR representative who led my tour quickly assured me, I would soon be traveling through Kellogg’s past, as well as its present. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: frosted flakes, kelloggs, pop-tarts, special. 26 Comments

Dec. ’16

Merry Christmas & Happy Holidays from Cerealously!

If you squint, it almost actually looks sort of a little like Santa Claus.

I just wanted to take this chance to formally wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays, from both me and ol’ Crunch Kringle up there. I’m eternally thankful for all you readers who make this site worth writing for—especially those of you dedicated enough to check Cerealously on Christmas!

It’s a welcome week of relative relaxation for all of us, but rest assured I’ll be furiously taste testing and tip-tapping within days: from bite-sized Girl Scout cookies to spicy gravel, there are a lot of great cereals on the horizon.

So whether you spend this day making Cap’n Crunch chicken strips,* mowing down gingerbread men, or just chilling by the fire—the coziest oxymoron—make it a merry one. If you need something to read over breakfast, second breakfast, or the much-beloved “midnight breakfast,” here’s a collection of this winter’s hottest reviews so far: some are from me, others are from friends of the site.

Cinnamon Star Crunch

Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch (2016)

Trader Joe’s Gingerbread Everything (via Junk Banter)

Little Debbie Eggnog and Candy Cane Cake Rolls (via Snack Cellar)

2016’s Hottest Holiday Junk Food (via Dinosaur Dracula)

Krispy Kreme’s “One Day Only” Pumpkin Spiced Glazed Doughnut (via Sometimes Foodie)

*If you do make these, be sure to ship one straight to my P.O. box and/or mouth.

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cerealously, holiday. 1 Comment

Dec. ’16

“Review:” Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch Cereal (2016)

It was like the plot of the world’s most surreal holiday special.

Last month, I shared candid photos of 2016’s gorgeously redesigned Christmas Crunch box, with the promise that I’d wait until late December to review it—to build anticipation, Christmas cheer, appetite, etc. My decision not to buy a sleigh’s worth of Christmas Crunch when it was right there in the store’s discount basket proved to be the most foolish thing I’ve done since trading away all my Oreo Cakesters for Bosco breadsticks way back in elementary school lunch time.

Because on December 22nd, driving around in the cloak of darkness while “We Need A Little Christmas” played with bitter accuracy on the radio, I couldn’t find a single box of Cap’n Crunch’s Christmas Crunch in stores!

Several discontented web searches later, I made a desperate phone call to an obscure local grocer who confirmed that they did indeed have a few boxes left. The magical angel who worked customer service even promised to set a box aside for me—I’d wager that he doesn’t hear many late night pleas for red and green breakfast products, so any chance to satisfy a sweaty-sounding dude’s simple, yet stupid Christmas wish was a no-brainer.

And that’s the story of how I ended up with a box of the exact same Christmas cereal I eat every year. Speaking of which, let’s take our spoons out for Ho-Ho-Horatio Magellan Crunch’s holiday classic, shall we? Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 10 rating, cap'n crunch, holiday, quaker. 3 Comments

Dec. ’16

A “Cereal Time” Holiday Viewing Party!

(Update, 12/26: Now that Cereal Time has sadly concluded, I plan to write a tribute to the series soon. Stay tuned!)

Warm the hearth, light up the tree, and fill a bowl of Cap’n Crunch with eggnog (it’s the holidays, you’ve earned it!).

Why? Because we’re unwrapping the four latest video presents in cereal wise man Gabe Fonseca’s YouTube series: Cereal Time! Every Cereal Time episode is stuffed with more fun and nostalgia than a re-gifted fruit cake is stuffed with…who knows what, because I’m not eating it. And this latest series of episodes is sure to make you merrier than a nativity scene salesman who received a surplus shipment of Jesus’s mother figurines.

Thank you, I’ll be here all week.

But enough Biblical puns: let’s have some cereal fun! Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cereal time, kelloggs, post. Leave a comment

Dec. ’16

Spooned & Spotted: New Very Berry Cheerios Flavored with Real Fruit

https://www.instagram.com/p/BOM5h1MgAnI/?taken-by=junkbanter

(Update: We reviewed Very Berry Cheerios!)

This ain’t Cheerios’s first time ’round the berry block.

In fact, it isn’t even their third, fourth, or, fifth. On this teetering cusp of 2016–2017, General Mills new Very Berry Cheerios has hit shelves, and it’s the sixth berry-flavored (arguably the seventh) Cheerios to every grace America’s fruit-loving taste buds. Let’s count ’em off, kids: buckle your seatbelts and grab those lottery numbers, because we’re going back 13 years in time. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Specials. Tags: cheerios, general mills, spooned & spotted. 4 Comments

Dec. ’16

Review: Limited Edition Dunkin’ Donuts Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts

We were so close.

When Dunkin’ Donuts announced their partnership with Pop-Tarts, I thought it was a no-brainer that we’d get a Jelly Doughnut Pop-Tart, complete with a fried, yeasty crust and a fruity or custardy filling. But alas, my hopes were squeezed cleanly out of me like a Boston Cream doughnut in an industrial vice grip: instead of any Inception-ed “baked good inside of a baked good” flavor, Kellogg’s and Dunkin’ Donuts gave us Chocolate Mocha Pop-Tarts and Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts.

We were so close that I nearly leaned out an open window and crooned “we could’ve had it all!” in my best Adele voice.

But I won’t complain, because Chocolate Mocha and Vanilla Latte are pretty darn good consolation prizes. And since I already love Vanilla Latte Pop-Tarts enough to consider working them into my annual family Christmas card, Chocolate Mocha will surely make me forget about the world’s cruel lack of Cruller-flavored toaster pastries.

At least I hope so. I’ll keep my emergency Adele wig on standby, just in case. Continue reading →

Posted by dan g.. Categories: Reviews. Tags: 8 rating, chocolate, kelloggs, pop-tarts. 4 Comments