Monthly Archives: September 2016

Review: Peace Cereal Maple Pecan Granola

Peace Cereal Maple Pecan Granola Box

Pumpkin dominates fall. Gingerbread and peppermint have a stranglehold on winter, while sugar cookie and eggnog watch on with buttered jealousy. Carrot cake has carved out a weird spring niche. Strawberry, s’mores, and good ol’ American apple pie vie for summer dominance.

So many flavors have seasonal attachments. But where does maple belong? Maple has long been a jack of all seasons, a flavor that we take for granted since it’s always available in glass bottles, plastic grandmother figures, and those charming metal carafes they supply at Denny’s.

But I think maple deserves its own season. You know what, “deserves” isn’t strong enough: maple has worked hard for our waffles and taste buds, so it demands a time of the year to call its own. Early September is a good time to start, because it’s just too early for most people to go off the pumpkin deep end, and it’s slightly too late to use those overripe strawberries in a shortcake. Some might argue that March is a better time, since that’s maple syrup harvesting season, but this review needed a creative introduction, so give me a break.

Here’s to you, maple. Let’s celebrate with Peace Cereal’s Maple Pecan Granola, which contains none other than real maple syrup. Continue reading

Election Fever: General Mills’ 2016 Monster Cereals!

(Update: My annual review of Count Chocula for 2016 is here!)

It’s September, which means I can finally start using the term “Halloweeny” in public without sounding like I’m talking about a cheddar hot dog that tragically came without any cheese filling. Though trust me: I will be making a lot of those crescent roll mummy Halloweiners.

So what better way to kick off the boo-na fide Halloween season than with everyone’s favorite spooky trilogy? No, I don’t mean a marathon session of all three I Know What You Did Last Summer movies: I’m talking about Count Chocula, Franken Berry, and Boo Berry cereals!

While these monster cereals have already been spotted in stores like Target, Big Lots, and Walgreens, I want to thank General Mills for generously sending me the spooker care package you see above, which contained the cereals themselves and so, so much more. I know what you’re thinking, and I agree. Couldn’t they have thought of more creative sequel names than I Still Know What You Did Last Summer and I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer?

But enough about murderous fishermen. Let’s start researching for an I Know What You Ate Last Autumn screenplay instead. Continue reading

Review: Quaker Banana Bonanza Oatmeal and Blueberry Bash Oatmeal

Quaker's New Banana Bonanza Oatmeal and Blueberry Bash Oatmeal Cups

Quick: pretend you’re in 4th grade and it’s lunch time. You sit down at an uncomfortable wooden table, and tear open your hyper-crinkly brown bag while you wait for your friends to come back from the hot lunch line with their spicy chicken sandwiches and Bosco breadsticks.

You’re more than a little jealous of them, but you know Mom had to have packed you something good. So what’s the main course? Ham and cheese on rye? Leftover chow mein from China Kingdom down the road?

Both guesses are wrong. In an attempt to get you eating healthy, Mom packed Quaker’s newest instant oatmeal cup flavors: Banana Bonanza and Blueberry Bash.

But are these oatmeal cones worth trudging over to the school’s vintage, pizza sauce-stained microwave for? Or should you trade them like edible Pokémon cards and try to game Billy out of his Ziploc full of Oreos?

Those are the existential questions I hope to answer.

Continue reading