Monthly Archives: January 2016

19

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s ToGo Breakfast Mix: Cinnamon Roasted Candied Pecan and Salted Caramel & Praline Almond

IMG_4241Unlike the product it’s reviewing, this review of Kellogg’s new ToGo Breakfast Mixes should not be enjoyed while driving.

This review will not fit in your cupholder.

And licking this review will not produce a savory cinnamon pecan flavor.

So how are they similar? Well, both the breakfast mixes and this review probably shouldn’t be submerged in milk. That’s right: according to the packages themselves, Kellogg’s latest attempt to capture those “on the move” consumers—who have been slowing cereal sales—is meant to be enjoyed as dry finger food, preferably while stuck in rush hour traffic or while leaning away from the smelly guy on the bus.

Heck, you could even scarf ’em down in the brief interval between paying at the 1st window and picking up your McNuggets from the 2nd window at a McDonald’s drive through.

So these resealable, single serving pouches are obviously convenient, but are they tasty? I double-fisted both flavors while flying down the Interstate in order to find out (okay, not really). Continue reading →

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18

Jan. ’16

Spooned & Spotted: Kellogg’s Captain America Civil War Cereal

IMG_0628Confession: I haven’t been watching all the Marvel movies that have been released over the past 5 years or so. In my defense, new superhero films seem to come out just as often as new cereals. So how can I be expected to keep up with both?

What this means is that I don’t have any cheeky, topical references to make about Kellogg’s new Captain America Civil War cereal. From what I can conclude based off the box art alone, the movie is about Captain America pissing off Iron Man by trapping him in a bad Instagram filter. In response, Iron Man decides to steal the left side of Captain America’s face.

You know what? I’d see that movie. It sounds like it would be…all right!

As for this cereal (which I spotted at Meijer), it looks like another cookie cutter oats and marshmallows snoozefest. I will give it a couple bonus points, though, because the pastel red and blue shield marshmallows remind me of Bomb Pops. Oh, if only this cereal were cherry, lime, and raspberry flavored.

But hey, from the looks of this cereal’s shelf neighbors, at least Captain America is strong enough to topple Darth Vader.

If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.

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17

Jan. ’16

Review: LOVE GROWN FOODS Chocolate Comet Crispies, Fruity Sea Stars, and Blueberry Vanilla Polar Puffs Cereals

IMG_4221Who needs Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, or The Dark Knight when you can have edible cereal trilogies? After all, the “One Ring to rule them all” has nothing on the sugary loops of Frosted Cheerios. Forget “ruling:” I’d rather be drooling.

And speaking of cereal trilogies, coming soon to a pantry near you is LOVE GROWN FOODS’ new trio of kid-focused, bean-based cereals. I previewed them last week, but now it’s time to ditch the “p” and get right down to the crunchy business of reviewing.

So grab the leftover holiday casserole, buy a few cans of Busch’s, grind up some coffee, and put on a Rowan Atkinson DVD, because today is all about beans!

Continue reading →

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15

Jan. ’16

Review: Kashi Cacao Nib, Almond, & Coconut Overnight Muesli

IMG_4198My soft food diet is over, and while I’m already planning my “welcome back” house party—which will feature bowls of chips, volleyball-sized lumps of Laffy Taffy, and an edible piñata—I figured I’d have one last mushy hurrah by reviewing a cereal(ish) product quite unlike any I’ve tried before.

It’s one of three mueslis (I bet “Mueslis” will be one of the names given to an obscure background alien from Star War Episode VII) from Kashi that is designed to be filled with milk at night, refrigerated, and enjoyed the next morning.

I chose this flavor not just because “Cacao Nib” sounds like he could be the Ewok copilot of Mueslis in their Extended Universe novel, but because the other two flavors, Sunflower Pepita and Cherry Cinnamon & Cardamom gave me unpleasant mental images of eating fibrous stalks and spice cabinets.

Let’s have a “nib”ble, shall we?

Continue reading →

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13

Jan. ’16

Review: Kellogg’s Cranberry Mini-Wheats Harvest Delights Cereal

IMG_1289Something about unfrosted Mini-Wheats make me uncomfortable. It’s probably the thought of stuffing small hay bales down my throat that makes me irrationally itchy all over.

I mean, Mini-Wheats always resemble tiny bales of hay, but at least when they put on their sugary clown makeup I can ignore my silly phobia and blissfully suck strawberry powder from their faces.

Speaking of which, 5 minutes of frantic Google searching have revealed that, even though there are phobias for fear of the pope (papaphobia) and fear of getting peanut butter stuck to the roof of your mouth (arachibutyrophobia), there is no named phobia for “fear of eating hay bales.” Looks like the perfect time for “Danophobia” to become a thing.

But at least Kellogg’s new line of Mini-Wheats Harvest Delights have a lacy yogurt lingerie drizzle to cover their naked, grainy bodies. But will this compliment their fruity flavors well? I bought the Cranberry flavor (I couldn’t find the Blueberry Vanilla…yet) to find out. Continue reading →

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12

Jan. ’16

Spooned & Spotted: Honey Bunches of Oats with Chocolate Clusters Returns!

IMG_20160111_150300This is fate, friends.

Just this week, I was melodramatically lamenting (in layman’s terms: I whined and complained) Post’s discontinuation of Honey Bunches of Oats with Chocolate Clusters some 6 years or so ago. And immediately, and I mean immediately after posting that review, Adam, a fellow cereal enthusiast, alerted me that Chocolate Honey Bunches were back, baby! 

Okay, no one said “baby,” but my overexcited self certainly thought it.

I was still in skeptical disbelief (this was pretty much my version of Half-Life 3) until Adam sent me the above photo that he snapped at a Walmart. Note that the return of Chocolate Honey Bunches is now gluten-free, too. I’ve never had a gluten-less Honey Bunches, but I’m going to remain optimistic, because how can I not be optimistic after this great news?

I can barely contain my excitement! I need to go anxiously scour the globe and find myself a box. If I accidentally end this post mid-sentence, you’ll know where I

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11

Jan. ’16

News: Three New Kids Cereals from LOVE GROWN FOODS

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Image via LOVE GROWN FOODS on Facebook

(UPDATE: I reviewed all three cereals here!)

Before you even ask it, allow me to answer your first question: yes, these cereals are made from beans. And your second question: no, from my experience, it’s not as crazy as it may sound.

Either way, all you real human beans out there will soon have three fresh options to pick from for your own little kidney beans to enjoy (see what I did there?). As excitedly announced by LOVE GROWN FOODS on Facebook (maybe their name is in all caps because they’re always excited?), the latest in their string of bean cereals are Comet Crispies, Polar Puffs, and Sea Stars, and they’re kid-focused with colorful designs.

I can only imagine that the chocolatey Comet Crispies were made by none other than Pow himself. Pow, the forgotten fourth relative of Snap, Crackle, and Pop, must have grown jaded after his brothers kicked him out of the quartet back in the 1950s. So he created this alternative to Cocoa Krispies as revenge. (Note: none of this is true)

Polar Puffs have a unique blend of blueberry and vanilla flavors. Both of these are rare on cereal shelves, but seeing them both together is like seeing a polar bear stroll through Manhattan. Let’s just be glad they didn’t go with Coca-Cola flavored puffs for this one.

Finally, Sea Stars are fruit flavored, and they get to join the exclusive club of star-shaped cereals which includes Christmas Crunch, SpongeBob cereal, Cocoa Puffs with Stars, and, of course, Swedish Chef’s Cröonchy Stars.

Look for all three navy, lentil, and garbanzo bean cereals in stores soon (you should be able to find and buy them at Kroger and its family of stores). And while they’re made to be kid-friendly, you all better believe that I’ll still be shoveling them into my hungry mouth like a bean farmer with his trowel.

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11

Jan. ’16

Review: ThinkThin Honey Peanut Butter Oatmeal

IMG_4193Being on a soft food diet sucks.

But being a cereal review blogger on a soft food diet sucks harder than Starkiller Base on the energy of a sun.

While I was able to stockpile several cereal reviews before undergoing this wretched tooth surgery, at the moment my palate has been forced to gum down meal after meal of oatmeal. Don’t get me wrong, I love oatmeal, but after packet #6 it starts to feel like a beige, mushy nightmare.

However, I figured it was only fair to toss out a review of one of the oatmeal varieties I’ve tried for the first time. It’s ThinkThin Honey Peanut Butter Oatmeal. I don’t know how new it is, but I don’t actually care enough to wade through the silly string of Google searches necessary to find out.

I’d also like to add that one of my New Year’s Resolutions was to start writing some shorter reviews, so those that don’t want to wade through labyrinthian walls of parentheses and references to decades-old fruit snacks will still enjoy this site. My other New Year’s Resolution was to line up an entire package of Keebler E.L. Fudge Cookies and topple them like dominoes, but that’s beside the point.

On to the review! Continue reading →

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