As the toaster pops up, it’s time for two pastries to throw down.
With little cartoon pumpkins spreading throughout grocery store aisles like some sort of vegetable venereal disease, it’s hard to know which products do the orange orb its proper justice. And when you’re 5 minutes late to work in the morning, you certainly don’t have time to philosophically pontificate over the pros and cons of different pumpkin breakfast options (“the frosting on this one really speaks to me, but what would Kierkegaard think?”).
But don’t worry. We’re here to help.
Better than Wrestlemania. Better than a monster truck rally. Better than the World Series, Stanley Cup championship, and Wimbledon all mixed together in a Super Bowl: it’s time for a toaster tart face-off.
Have you ever thought, “Gee, I love Count Chocula, but eating a bowl of it with milk in the middle of rush hour traffic sure is a hassle! I wish it were considerably more…rectangular!”
Well then it’s time to trick-or-treat yourself, because Count Chocula Treats have returned to save your morning commute from milk spills caused by unexpected brake-slamming.
Earlier this month, I mistakenly predicted that Count Chocula Treats would be a Canadian exclusive this season. While my neighbors to the north may still be the only ones getting Treats with orange chocolate, the cereal bars have finally made their way to American shelves.
What took you so long, Count? I guess when you’re an ageless, blood-sucking entity, you tend to lose track of time. Continue reading →
The month of October will no longer be known as the “Halloween season.” Instead, it will officially be deemed “Trader Joe’s month-long pumpkin-palooza.”
Seriously, walking into a TJ’s this time of year is like being transported into one of your grandma’s autumn tablecloths, with every store orifice (storeifice, for short) being plastered with kitschy graphics of everyone’s favorite vegetable. Or fruit. Whatever the heck your know-it-all cousininsists that it “technically” is.
And while I’ve already discussed Pumpkin O’s cereal, it isn’t the only pumpkin cereal Trader Joe has plucked from his field. So whether or not you consider granola to be an actual cereal (the word is on the box so leave me alone, dang it!), it’s time to give Country Pumpkin Spice Granola its time in the candlelit spotlight. Continue reading →
(Update: The video above may be gone, but we got one of the 10 boxes! Check it out!)
I can hear him. I can hear the ghost of my 8-year old self speaking to me through the expanse of time:
“Daaaaannn! You have to wiiinnnnn, Dan!” his spectral voice warbles. “All that time I wasted separating the Lucky Charms oats from the marshmallows—I demand restitution!”
But wait a minute, 8-year old Dan. How do you know a word as big as “restitution?”
“Uh, I gotta goooo! The other ghost kids wanna watch Digimon!”
That’s my long-winded backstory on why I feel the need to win General Mills’ latest sweepstakes. After hearing fans’ repeated pleas for a marshmallow only Lucky Charms, they’re finally making those dreams a reality. Well, for 10 people, at least.
With the help of Biz Markie (who also recently helped Cap’n Crunch with a sweepstakes; that guy must love cereal and self-parodies), General Mills wants cereal fans to use Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram to post photos of themselves with imaginary Marshmallows Only cereal boxes and the hashtag #Lucky10Sweepstakes for entries in the random drawing for 10 boxes of the Marshmallow Only.
It was already possible to buy bags of just marshmallows, but since those aren’t official Lucky Charms marshmallows, it’s just not the saaaammeee, Mom!
Whoops, sorry. I was still stuck in Kid Dan mode there for a second.
With this being said, I will be carefully preparing my entries and will post them here as time goes on. General Mills’ full release on the contest can be read here, and the sweepstakes rules can be read here. Just don’t wait too long! The contest ends October 18th.
Good luck(y charms) to all those who also want to enter!
With its Hawaiian shirt-wearing employees, its whimsical wordplay, and its overwhelmingly campy atmosphere, I’ve always thought of it as the grocery store equivalent of Uncle Joey from Full House.
And just like how everyone’s goofy uncle has some sort of kitschy obsession, Trader Joe’s goes absolutely bananaspumpkins during the fall season.
Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the…wait, no way!
It’s still early October, but it appears Kellogg’s has already decided to start putting Christmas HOLIDAY products onto shelves. I can see maybe doing this around Thanksgiving, but at this point, it’s the cereal equivalent of camping outside Walmart for Black Friday in late August. I expect bright red Valentine’s Day Krispies within a week.
The only logical explanation I can think of is that this actually is a Halloween cereal, and Snap, Crackle, and Pop just decided to dress up as scarf-wearing hipsters.
These special edition Krispies appear to mix red and green pieces with the traditional beige. There is a heavy emphasis on making treats with these in exchange for a toy donation. According to the box, you can easily shape these into spearheads or venomous serpents for your next ceremonial sacrifice.
Wait, you say those are trees and candy canes? Sorry, still got Halloween on the mind.
These Rice Krispies with Holiday Colors were spotted by yours truly at Meijer just last week. I posted a photo of them on Twitter earlier, so be sure to follow if you want to stay on top of cereal happenings.
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
Tired of Count Chocula stealing the spotlight with his toothy grin, Franken Berry shoves the cloaked, cocoa narcissist aside.
“That’s the last straw,” he bellows. “It’s time for strawberries to run this show!”
I hope you’re getting berry excited for Halloween, because now that the wonderful month of October is finally in full swing (speaking of which: just look at all the glorious fake skeletons swinging in the breeze!), it’s time to crack open another box of General Mills’ monster cereals, which are back with a bloodthirsty milkthirsty vengeance for the 2015 season. Continue reading →
(Edit 10/17: I was wrong! The bars have finally made their way to U.S. shelves, just without orange chocolate. You can read my review by clicking here!)
See those little undead hands making the “👌” emoji?
Well that was the first thing I did upon seeing this image from user Danse Macabre (thanks!). In my earlier review of Franken Berry and Boo Berry Fruit Roll-Ups, I noted how Count Chocula treats—which have been a mainstay on grocery store shelves for several Halloween seasons—seemed to be M.I.A. for 2015.
But fear not, monster cereal fans (or maybe do fear, because they are, you know, monsters), the snack sized cereal bars are alive! The treats combine chocolate cereal pieces, chocolate chips, and marshmallows with a sweet and gooey sugar binding agent to hold them together into a singular mass.
This just makes me think. If I were to bite the end of a Count Chocula Treat into a point, would I be able to pound it through a vampire’s heart like a stake? What an ironic death that would be.
Interestingly, the icing and milky bottom on these bars appears to be an eerie orange this time around, whereas previous editions simply had the Count’s signature brown.
However, there is a catch. At the moment, these bars might be a Canada exclusive! Danse Macabre spotted them at a local Ontario superstore, and other reports have seen them popping up all over the country. Will the Count’s bar-shaped cereal expansion packs reach the U.S. this season? I think it’s only a matter of time. After all, it’s like the wise Dwight Schrute once said:
“If a vampire-bat was in the U.S. It would make sense for it to come to a ‘sylvania.’ Like Pennsylvania.”
If you’d like to see your picture or thoughts featured on a “Spooned & Spotted” post, click yourself right on over to our submissions page, or just email us at cerealously.net@gmail.com.
