Okay, if we assume the “many universes” theory is true, where do you think ours falls on the continuum of greatness? Like I get that having a hospitable planet and intelligent life in itself would probably land us in the top quartile, and since there are any trillions of universes where humans just said nahhh to agriculture, we’re pretty darn lucky to even have cereal instead of Mutton Munchies by the hunted and gathered bowlful.

But is it wrong to long for a vacation to one of those slightly rosier neighboring timelines? You know, one where I don’t have the “cilantro tastes like soap” gene? Or the one where I actually am the omnipotent cereal deity old people in the comments section tend to think I am (NO I STILL CAN’T FIX ALPHA-BITS)?

Heck, I’d even settle for a very small ask: A world where Honey ‘N Oats Cheerios Oat Crunch is Honey Nut Cheerios. Like, the latter never existed. That’s how good this Oat Crunch is. At that point I wouldn’t need cilantro or soap!

If you’ve tried last year’s Cinnamon Cheerios Oat Crunch, this shouldn’t come as a surprise to you. That was one of the year’s biggest underdog hits, which, despite its unassuming name and concept, was able to be an authentically tastier cinnamon cereal than any Toast Crunch or Life.

Everything sans-cinnamon that was good about the inaugural Oat Crunch returns for Honey ‘N Oats. Though I expected this one to be less interesting than Cinnamon due to the comparative omnipresence of honey in the Cheerios catalogue, it boasts an exciting amount of nuance for something that’s literally just oat shrapnel strewn atop oat hoops.

But first, the real reason Honey ‘N Oats Oat Crunch deserves to displace H. Nut Cheerios and fling Buzz the Bee into the void of uncreation is the texture. I’m a simple man: I like a little crispity with my crunchities—yet I dare not lay a sensitive molar on anyone’s Butterfinger—and since the once-reigning champ of stuff-stuffed ring cereals broke off its dalliance with graham, CheeriOHs Oats Crunch is well poised to fill that crackling vacancy.

The taste, too, is like a Honey Nut Cheerios Mega Evolution, or perhaps a symbolic facsimile of the Hot Buttered Honey Nut Cheerios foretold in the Dead Sea Scrolls.Think lightly caramelized brown sugar. Think smooth honey butter (which would be a lovely pet name for someone in your life). And think…oats. Mouthwatering, yet modest sweetness combines with wholesome earthiness that tastes something like rich pan-fried marzipan to make a comfort food Cheerio combo.

Which makes me realize Homestar Runner would totally call his girlfriend “smooth hon-butt.”

Milk only makes it better, as the loose oats are good at sucking up just enough creaminess to give the Cheerios themselves a welcome sog-buffer, making the whole thing taste like a Honey Nut Cheerios Cereal Bar wearing a granola bar exoskeleton, which was then dunked in the land of milk and honey’s public pool.

Despite it lacking the cinnamon I thought it would need, there’s nothing really to find fault with in Cheerios Oats ‘N Honey Oat Crunch. I actually think the comparative simplicity and practically universal agreeability gives OnH longer-lasting appeal.

Honey Nut Cheerios is America’s best-selling cereal, yet this Oat Crunch deserves to sell even more. My dad has been crushing boxes of classic Honey Nut since before I was born, so if this is a perfect 10 cereal to me, I hope it inspires his inner carpenter to build the time machine necessary to get this on shelves decades ago—even if it erases me from history, too.

The Bowl: Cheerios Oat Crunch – Oats ‘N Honey

The Breakdown: The hottest and butteriest cereal of the year, this is a cozy modern classic that’s unlikely to disappoint anyone—except for those who will settle for nothing less than a restored Criterion Collection Alpha-Bits (complete with three never before seen letters!).

The Bottom Line: 10 bee-fuzz oat coats out of 10